Question:
When parents are searching for a groom for their daughter, sometimes two good proposals come. Both men may appear equally suitable. In such a situation, some people write the names on slips and draw lots, choosing whichever name appears. As evidence for this method, they mention the story of Yunus, saying that when he was on the ship, lots were drawn and he was selected to be thrown overboard.
So, the question is: Is this method correct?
A second question is also asked: When the people on the ship drew lots, was the purpose to determine who had committed the wrongdoing, or was it simply because there were too many people on the ship and they needed to reduce the number of passengers?
Answer:
First point: drawing lots can be of two types; Drawing lots is not always the same. In some cases it is permissible, and in other cases it can even become shirk.
Sometimes people draw lots in a way similar to fortune-telling or divination, trying to discover the will of Allahﷻ through random selection. That type is not allowed.
But in other situations, drawing lots is permitted in Islamic law.
The key principle is this: Drawing lots is allowed only when there is a competition or claim between two or more people, and all of them have equal rights.
If it is just your personal decision, you should not draw lots. Because if you draw lots and say, “This is what Allahﷻ has chosen for me,” it becomes similar to believing that Allahﷻ has revealed His decision through that slip.
In some cultures, they call it a “divine slip,” where they write options and pick one, believing that the choice represents Allahﷻ ’s command. That is not permissible.
When is drawing lots allowed? It is allowed when multiple people have equal qualifications and there is no fair way to choose one over the other.
For example:
Suppose ten people attend an interview for a job, and all ten have exactly the same qualifications. You only need one person. If one candidate scored 99 marks and another scored 98, you could choose the one with 99 marks. The other person would not object because there is a clear reason. But if all ten candidates are exactly equal, then whoever you select might cause resentment among the others.
In that situation, to avoid disputes and hurt feelings, you can draw lots and say: “All of you are equal in qualification. Whoever’s name comes out will receive the position.”
In that case drawing lots becomes a fair method to resolve the issue.
Example from the teachings of the Prophetﷺ: The Messenger of Allahﷻ Prophetﷺ Muhammad mentioned a similar situation regarding prayer.
He said that if people knew the virtue of calling the adhan and the virtue of standing in the first row of prayer, they would compete for it so intensely that they might have to draw lots.
This narration appears in Sahih al-Bukhari 615.
Imagine that 200 people come to the mosque early and all want to stand in the first row. But the first row may only accommodate 25 people.
Everyone insists: “I will stand there.” “No, I will stand there.”
If all of them have equal right, what should be done?
The solution could be to draw lots and allow only those whose names appear to stand in the first row. That prevents arguments and maintains fairness.
Another example: choosing a person to call the adhan
Suppose three people are equally qualified to call the adhan. All three insist on doing it. If one person clearly has better pronunciation or voice, that person could be chosen. But if they are completely equal, then drawing lots can be used to decide who will give the adhan.
Again, the purpose is to prevent resentment among them.
Another example from the Prophetﷺ’s life
Whenever the Prophetﷺ Muhammad went on a journey, he would take one of his wives with him to assist him. But he could not take all of them at once. If he simply chose one wife, the others might feel hurt.
So, what did he do? He would gather all their names and draw lots. Whoever’s name appeared would accompany him on the journey.
This is reported in Sahih al-Bukhari 2661. Why was this done?
Because all of them were wives and deserved equal treatment. Without drawing lots, someone might think she was intentionally overlooked. Drawing lots made the process fair and prevented disputes.
Another example: the brotherhood between the Muhajirun and Ansar
When the Prophetﷺ migrated to Medina, many companions came from Mecca.
The Prophetﷺ established a brotherhood between the Muhajirun (migrants from Mecca) and the Ansar (residents of Medina).
But the Ansar were not all equal in wealth. Some were wealthy, others were poor. If the Prophetﷺ assigned migrants manually, people might think he favored certain individuals. To prevent such suspicions, the companions’ names were written down and paired by drawing lots.
One narration describes how a woman named Umm al-Ala said that when the lots were drawn, Uthman ibn Maz’un came to stay with their family.
This report is mentioned in Sahih al-Bukhari 1243.
Again, the purpose was fairness and avoiding accusations of favoritism. Another situation mentioned in hadith
If a group of people compete for the opportunity to take an oath in a legal case, and several individuals insist that they should be the one to swear the oath, drawing lots may also be used.
This narration appears in Sahih al-Bukhari 2674.
Now let us return to the marriage question
There are two different scenarios.
Scenario 1: It is purely the family’s decision
If two good grooms appear and it is entirely your choice, you should not draw lots. Because then you are treating the result as if it represents Allahﷻ ’s decision. That becomes similar to fortune-telling or divination.
In such personal decisions, Islam recommends Istikhara prayer instead.
You pray two rak‘ah and recite the supplication taught by the Prophetﷺ. This supplication is recorded in Sahih al-Bukhari 1162.
In that supplication you say: “O Allahﷻ , I do not know what is best. If this matter is good for me, guide me toward it. If it is harmful for me, turn me away from it.”
After performing this prayer sincerely, you choose whichever option your heart inclines toward.
Scenario 2: both grooms are actively claiming the proposal
If both men are asking for the marriage and both insist, then drawing lots could be used to avoid conflict between them.
You may say: “Both of you are requesting this marriage. We will draw lots. Whoever’s name appears will receive the proposal.”
In that situation drawing lots is acceptable because it resolves a dispute fairly. The purpose is not to discover Allahﷻ ’s hidden command but to prevent resentment between the two parties.
Final principle:
Drawing lots is allowed only when multiple parties have equal claims and you need a neutral method to decide.
But if it is simply your own decision, you should not draw lots. Instead, perform Istikhara and make your decision with prayer and reliance on Allahﷻ .
How to Perform Istikhārah (Seeking Guidance from Allahﷻ )
Istikhārah means asking Allahﷻ to guide you toward what is best when you are unsure about a decision (such as marriage, business, travel, etc.). The method comes from the authentic hadith of the Prophetﷺ ﷺ.
- Pray Two Rak‘ah (Units of Prayer)
- Make wuḍū (ablution).
- Pray two rak‘ah of voluntary prayer (nafl).
- These two rak‘ah should not be a compulsory prayer (like Fajr or Maghrib).
- You may recite any sūrah after Al-Fātiḥah.
The Prophetﷺ ﷺ said he used to teach Istikhārah just like teaching a surah of the Qur’an.
- After Finishing the Prayer
After you complete the prayer (after salām), raise your hands and recite the du‘ā of Istikhārah.
- The Du‘ā of Istikhārah
When you reach “this matter”, mention your decision (for example: marriage to a certain person, job, etc.).
- Meaning of the Du‘ā (Brief)
“O Allahﷻ , I seek guidance from Your knowledge,
and I seek ability through Your power,
and I ask You from Your great bounty.
If You know that this matter is good for my religion, my life, and my future,
then decree it for me, make it easy for me, and bless it for me.
If You know that this matter is bad for my religion, my life, and my future,
then turn it away from me and turn me away from it,
and decree what is good for me wherever it may be,
then make me content with it.”
- What Happens After Istikhārah?
Many people think they must see a dream, but this is not required.
Usually one of these happens:
- Your heart becomes inclined toward the decision, or
- The matter becomes easy and opens up, or
- Obstacles appear and the matter closes.
This is Allahﷻ ’s guidance.
- Important Points
- You may perform Istikhārah more than once if needed.
- It should be done after thinking and consulting people (shūrā).
- It can be done any time except the forbidden prayer times.
- Trust the result even if it is different from what you wanted.
- Authentic Source
The method comes from the hadith reported in:
- Sahih al‑Bukhari – Hadith 1162, 6382 Narrated by Jabir ibn Abdullah.