Question:
when a man says talaq, talaq, is that not a violation of human rights or a form of oppression against women?
Answer:
First, we must understand what talaq means. Talaq simply means divorce. Is divorce something that exists only for Muslims and not for others? In our country, Muslims may settle divorce within their community structures, while others usually go through the courts. But the concept of divorce itself exists for everyone.
If a husband or wife approaches the court for divorce, does the court refuse to grant it? No. Whether the husband asks for divorce or the wife asks for it, the court eventually grants it, though sometimes after delays and procedures. If someone believes divorce should not exist at all, then they must argue to remove it from the law entirely. But if divorce does not exist, violence may increase. Why? Because if a man and woman cannot live together but are forced to remain married, some people may resort to extreme actions. A man who dislikes his wife might think that if she dies, he can marry someone else. Similarly, if a woman dislikes her husband but is forced to stay with him, she might attempt something harmful to escape the relationship. That is why divorce exists as a lawful solution.
We often see news reports where a spouse murders the other along with a secret lover. Such crimes appear in newspapers regularly. One reason such situations occur is when people feel trapped in relationships with no lawful way out. If a marriage fails, it is better to end it lawfully through divorce and allow both individuals to move on and marry someone else properly. Without divorce, people may fall into illicit relationships or violence.
If the issue is the word talaq, remember that talaq is simply the Arabic word for divorce. In Tamil we say vivākarathu (divorce). If you oppose talaq, then you must oppose divorce altogether. Which community in the world does not have divorce? Even in Christianity, where the Bible traditionally discourages divorce, people still obtain divorce through civil law when marriages fail. So, divorce exists across all communities.
The difference is that Muslims often handle divorce within their community structures, while others go to court. Court procedures involve lawyers, fees, and long delays. In court, very personal matters may be questioned in detail, which can be humiliating for both husband and wife. Lawyers may ask extremely intimate questions to determine the reason for divorce. This can be embarrassing and degrading.
In contrast, within a community council or jamaat, people can explain the situation more privately and respectfully. If a woman says she cannot live happily with her husband, the elders may understand the situation without forcing her to describe humiliating details publicly. They will first attempt reconciliation. Community elders know the families involved — they know the parents, the background, and the circumstances. They try their best to reconcile the couple and help them continue their marriage if possible.
If reconciliation fails and it becomes clear that the husband and wife cannot live together, then divorce is granted. In many cases this community-based counseling actually reduces divorce rates because elders try sincerely to repair the relationship. Courts often deal only with documents and legal arguments, not with personal understanding.
If statistics are examined, divorce rates among Muslims are often lower than among many other communities. The reason is that community elders attempt reconciliation before granting divorce. Only when it becomes clear that the marriage cannot continue is the divorce finalized.
Therefore, the difference is mainly in terminology: when divorce is given through the jamaat, it is called talaq; when it is granted through the courts, it is called divorce. The concept itself exists everywhere. So calling it oppression only in the Muslim context does not make sense.