Question:
Some relatives behaved very badly. My sister-in-law spoke very disrespectfully to my mother. Despite my attempts to reconcile, she did not listen, and my mother was deeply hurt. Because of that, I stopped speaking to her. Now before going for Hajj, should I go and inform her or ask her forgiveness?”
Answer:
First, there is no religious rule that one must inform everyone before going for Hajj.
This is simply a social custom, not a religious requirement. The companions of the Prophetﷺ did not go house to house informing relatives before Hajj.
Just like we perform other acts of worship without seeking permission from people, Hajj is also an act of worship that does not require informing others.
However, the custom developed in the past because traveling for Hajj used to be extremely dangerous. Many people who left for Hajj never returned, due to the hardships of long travel through deserts. Because death during the journey was common, scholars advised people to seek forgiveness from those they had wronged before leaving, so they would not die with unresolved injustices.
The idea was that if someone had wronged another person, Allahﷻ may forgive sins related to Him (Allahﷻ ) alone, but wrongs done to other people require their forgiveness.
So, if a person had harmed someone, it was recommended to seek forgiveness before leaving for Hajj. But if you did not wrong anyone, there is no reason to ask forgiveness.
In this case, according to the questioner, the wrongdoing was done by the sister-in-law, not by him. If he did not commit any injustice, he does not need to ask forgiveness.
However, if upon reflection he realizes that he himself made a mistake, then asking forgiveness would be good.
In general, asking forgiveness should not be delayed until Hajj. Since death can come at any time, it is better to reconcile immediately if one has wronged someone.