Question:
Sometimes Islam says that children must ask permission before entering when they come to see us. It sounds like it is telling us to make them sleep separately. Why does it say that?
Answer:
He is referring to verse 24:58. ‘O you who believe! Permission must be requested by your servants and those of you who have not reached puberty. On three occasions: before the Dawn Prayer, and at noon when you change your clothes, and after the Evening Prayer.’
If you are inside your house and a servant wants to enter, they must ask permission before coming in. They cannot just walk in. They must ask, “May I come?”
Second — those who have not reached puberty must also ask permission at three specific times.
If the children in your house have reached puberty, then at all times they must ask permission before entering. Even if a son goes to see his mother, he cannot simply walk in thinking, “She is my mother.” Why?
Because she might be in different conditions. Even if it is an elder sister, a younger brother who has reached puberty cannot suddenly enter her room. A son who has reached puberty cannot suddenly enter his mother’s room. He must ask permission.
But those who have not reached puberty — yet have some understanding — must ask permission at three particular times. At other times they may enter normally.
For example, a 10-year-old boy may normally go into his mother’s room. A 10-year-old may go to see his sister. That does not require permission at all times.
But Allahﷻ specifically mentions three times. Even children who have not reached puberty must be trained to ask permission at these three times. Why? Because, during these times people may be in private situations. What are those three times?
First: before Fajr prayer. If Fajr is at 5:00 AM and someone enters at 4:30 AM, they should not suddenly walk in. Why? Because husband and wife may be in private states. During sleep, clothes may be loosened. Whether male or female, they may not be fully covered. So, at that time, permission must be asked — even by children who have some understanding.
Second: at midday, when outer garments are removed.
During intense noon heat, especially women may remove heavier outer garments and wear lighter clothing. They may not be as fully covered as usual. So at that time also permission must be asked.
Third: after Isha prayer, when people go to bed. If someone needs to enter then, permission must be asked. These three times are described as times of privacy.
Outside these three times, children who have not reached puberty may enter freely. A 10-year-old boy may go to his mother’s room. He may go to his sister’s room. But during these three times — before Fajr, at midday rest, and after Isha — permission must be asked.
Now understand the question. If even children who have not reached puberty must ask permission before entering, does that mean parents should not sleep with their children? Does it mean children must be separated into another room? That is the angle from which the question is being asked. But that understanding is incorrect.
The verse says to ask permission before entering. Does it say that after asking permission they must come out? Does it say they cannot stay? No. It says they may enter after asking permission. When permission is asked, what happens? The people inside will adjust themselves appropriately. They will arrange their clothing properly. They will behave properly knowing that their son is entering.
The verse does not say they should not enter. It does not say they should not stay. It does not say they must be separated. If a child says, “I am coming in,” and the mother allows him, she understands that her son is present. She will conduct herself appropriately. She will arrange her clothing properly. She will behave properly in front of her son.
If a child is already sleeping in the same room, the parents naturally behave with awareness that the child is nearby. They do not behave the same way as when no one is present. There is a difference between being alone and knowing your child is beside you.
The verse does not say: “Do not keep your children in your room.” It does not say: “Lock them out.” It does not say: “Only let them enter in the morning.”
It says they should ask permission. What does asking permission creates? It creates awareness. It prevents people from being careless in private moments. It ensures modesty and proper conduct.
If you look at it superficially, it may seem like separation is required. But if you examine it carefully, there is nothing in the verse that prohibits parents and children from staying in the same room. The instruction is about modesty and preparation — not about isolation.
So, keeping your children in the same room is not prohibited by this verse. The purpose is simply that when entering at private times, they must ask permission so that those insides can adjust themselves properly.
That is the correct understanding.