Question:
My friend and I have a problem. I think badly about him in my mind but don’t show it outwardly. Is this a sin?
Answer:
Thinking badly about someone in your heart, without expressing it, is not a sin. There is no obligation to say whatever is in your heart. Sometimes, it might be better to conceal it for a greater good.
There is an example from the Prophetﷺﷺ’s life. A man came seeking permission to enter the Prophetﷺﷺ’s house. The Prophetﷺﷺ was told about him and remarked that he was from a bad tribe and was a bad person. However, when the man entered, the Prophetﷺﷺ greeted him with a smiling, compassionate face. After the man left, Aisha (RA) asked, “O Messenger of Allahﷻ , you said he was a bad man, but you treated him so kindly.” The Prophetﷺﷺ replied, “Aisha, have you ever seen me speak harshly to people? Some people have such sharp tongues that we must be cautious. I feared his evil tongue, so I treated him well.” This incident (Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6032) shows that it is not wrong to hide one’s true feelings and speak politely for a valid reason, such as to avoid greater harm or fitnah.
Therefore, thinking badly about your friend is not a sin. It would be wrong to go and speak those bad thoughts to him unnecessarily. It is fine to maintain a good relationship on the surface to avoid problems.