Question:
Is it religiously permissible to affectionately call one’s wife as “my mother,” or to call a daughter or granddaughter “my mother” as a term of endearment?
Answer:
In Islam, the relationship of parents is clearly defined. A father is the one from whom you are born, and you cannot call someone else your father in a literal sense. Similarly, your mother is the woman who gave birth to you.
Allahﷻ commands in the Qur’an (33:5) that people should be called by their real fathers’ names because that is more just. Likewise, only the woman who gave birth to someone is considered their mother in the legal and biological sense.
The prohibition applies to falsely assigning parental identity—for example, adopting a child and telling them that you are their real biological parent, or presenting adoptive parents as biological parents. For, school records and all, literally mentioning the adopting parent’s name as biological father – this is prohibited. The child should be called after his biological father’s name. If you don’t know his father, then he is your brethren in faith.
Islam forbids changing lineage or concealing true parentage.
However, affectionate or literary expressions are different. For example, when speaking in a gathering, a speaker might address women as “mothers.” This is not meant literally but as a respectful and affectionate expression.
Similarly, people may call others “brother,” “uncle,” or “father” in a cultural or respectful way, without meaning biological relationships. This is allowed as long as there is no deception or denial of actual parentage.
If someone knowingly denies their real parents and claims another person as their biological parent, that would be wrong. But if everyone understands that the term is used affectionately or culturally, it is permissible.
As evidence, the Qur’an mentions in Surah Al-Baqarah (2:133)
Or were you witnesses when death approached Yacob, and he said to his sons, “What will you worship after Me?” They said, “We will worship your God, and the God of your fathers, Abraham, Ishmael, and Isaac; One God; and to Him we submit.”
This above verse defines that the children of Prophet Yaqub said they would worship the God of their fathers—Abraham, Ishmael, and Isaac. Here, Ishmael was actually the uncle of Yaqub, but he was still referred to as a father in a broader ancestral sense.
This shows that such usage existed in customary or honorary language.
Likewise, Allahﷻ referred to Prophet Abraham as the “father” of believers in a spiritual and ancestral sense, even though he is not the biological father of all Muslims.
The people of Mecca during Prophetﷺ were not directly from Prophet Ibraheem (Alaihi Salam)’s descendents. At the time of Zam Zam’s first appearance in the desert, the people of Zurham were those who came and settled in Mecca as migrants. However, Allahﷻ referred to Prophet Abraham as the “father” of believers.
There is also a historical example where Anas (may Allahﷻ be pleased with him) called Abu Talha “father” after his mother married him.
This custom is still generally in practice to call the mother’s husband as father. This was understood as a respectful and social expression, not a biological claim.
Therefore, calling someone “father” or “mother” affectionately is allowed if it is understood in that context and does not hide the real lineage.