Question:
When a divorce happens, sometimes the woman’s family says that nobody should speak to the man anymore, no relatives should maintain contact, they should not attend each other’s functions, and they should completely cut off relations. Is that correct?
Answer:
After a divorce, some families say:
- “Do not talk to him.”
- “Do not attend his events.”
- “Do not maintain any relationship.”
Is that correct?
Divorce itself is permitted. Islam allows divorce for both men and women.
But even though it is allowed, the situation behind the divorce may be just or unjust.
Divorce itself is something permitted in Islam. Both men and women have the right to seek separation in certain circumstances. But although it is permitted, every divorce has its own background. Sometimes the divorce may be unjust.
For example, the woman may have done nothing wrong, but the husband divorces her because he wants another relationship.
Case 1: Divorce happened unjustly
The woman did nothing wrong, but the husband divorces her unfairly. Perhaps he wants another relationship
In such cases, the woman’s family may feel deeply hurt. They may refuse to maintain relations with the man. This emotional reaction is understandable because they believe an injustice was done.
In such a case the woman and her family will naturally feel hurt and angry. They may say, “This man has ruined our daughter’s life.” When a family spends so much effort arranging a marriage and the woman suddenly finds herself divorced without fault, it is natural that the family feels pain and anger. If in that emotional state, they decide to distance themselves from the man that reaction cannot simply be condemned.
Case 2: Divorce happened for a valid reason
Sometimes the wife may have seriously violated marital responsibilities.
In that case the divorce may be justified. If relatives know the divorce happened for a valid reason, then cutting off relations with the man would not be appropriate.
Suppose the woman herself behaved in a way that made married life impossible. If even an outsider would say that divorce was unavoidable, then the situation is different. In such a case relatives cannot simply declare that nobody should speak to the man anymore. If he acted within his rights and there was a genuine problem, cutting off relations completely may not be justified.
Therefore, every case must be judged based on whether the divorce involved injustice or not. The people closest to the situation will know the truth better than outsiders. If the husband acted unjustly, the family’s anger is understandable. If the divorce was justified, relations may continue as before. So the matter cannot be reduced to a single rule; it depends on the justice or injustice involved in the particular situation.
The key principle
Every divorce situation is different.
Relatives should judge based on:
- whether injustice occurred
- who was responsible for the breakdown
So, there is no universal rule that relations must always be cut after divorce.
It depends on the justice or injustice of the situation.